When Your Child Is Struggling and You Don’t Know How to Help

When It’s Hard to Watch Your Child Struggle

There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that comes with watching your child go through something painful. Maybe it’s anxiety, low mood, not fitting in at school or just not being themselves - and no matter what you say or do, you can’t seem to take it away.

If you’re feeling helpless, scared, frustrated or just totally lost, you’re not alone.

I speak to so many parents who are quietly carrying the weight of watching someone they love more than anything struggle - while also trying to hold it all together. And I just want to say: you’re doing better than you think.

🌀 You’re not failing — this is just hard

It’s so natural to want to fix things, to cheer them up, to say the right words that will bring them back to themselves. But sometimes, there is no “fix” - and it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong. It’s just that some emotions need to be felt and moved through.

Often, what helps most isn’t a solution - it’s your presence.

Your willingness to sit beside them, even when things feel messy or uncomfortable. Your soft voice that says “I’m here” without needing them to be okay yet. That’s what safety feels like.

🫁 Start with you

When your child is overwhelmed, your nervous system might be, too. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong - it just means you care.

Start by noticing what’s happening in your own body. Take a breath. Place your hand on your chest or stomach. Remind yourself: they don’t need me to have all the answers - they just need me to stay with them.

If you can ground yourself, even a little, it helps them feel more held. That’s co-regulation - and it’s powerful.

What support might look like (without fixing)

• Let them know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling

• Validate without rushing them to move on

• Get curious instead of trying to solve

• Remind them gently that they’re not alone

• Take care of yourself, too - you matter in this

  
  

It’s not easy to hold space for someone in pain, especially when that someone is your child. But even when you feel unsure or exhausted, please know this:

Your love, your quiet steadiness, your willingness to stay close - it matters more than you’ll ever know.

You don’t have to be perfect. Just present. That’s enough.